Dating to friends back to dating

14-Jan-2018 09:32 by 5 Comments

Dating to friends back to dating

“The purity of an initial friendship allows you to see someone’s character before it’s blurred by sexual intentions and wanting to ‘get’ something physical out of it,” dating expert Matthew Hussey told Certainly, no relationship can stand the test of time without the foundations of a strong friendship, agrees love and relationships author Daniel Jones.

It’s a narrative we’ve seen played out time and time again, spanning the Dukes of Shakespeare to the Hugh Grants of Richard Curtis.

In fact, some of the best relationships often start out as friendships.

Think of Sheryl Sandberg, who was friends with her late husband Dave for six years before they became romantically involved.

So why is it that the friends-to-lovers paradigm bears such perennial relevance? It’s been scientifically proven that the longer you’ve known somebody, the more attractive you’ll find them, researchers at the University of Texas found.

They asked students to rate each other at the beginning of the semester, and again at the end.

“Do they get jealous when you mention other people or go on dates?

You can test them a little to see how they react when you talk about what you are up to when you aren't with them.

A further study carried out by the same professors asked 167 couples how long they’d known one another before becoming romantically involved and whether they were friends first.

They found that, on average, the couples had known each other four months before dating. You never feel more comfortable than when you’re with your friends, right?

“I see a lot of stories where people never admit to their feelings and just keep hoping the other person will figure out how they feel, but that can turn into a kind of prolonged torture. Don't build it up with all kinds of weighty baggage that backs the other person into a corner.” That’s not to say that coming clean is easy, when friends begin dating each other, there’s naturally a lot more at stake.

"I think going from friends to more than that is often scary because if it doesn't go well, it's pretty much impossible to go back to your friendship the way it was before,” says 24-year-old Laura from London.

I learned this lesson the hard way when I started dating a friend in high school.

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